Displacement Feelings
I can't put this into words as well as Colleen does, but this two-month time away has been illuminating in ways that were completely unexpected.
OK, retirement is something a person...or two persons...can totally invent. I'd envisioned myself in just the setting we put together, above a river, on acres of wooded land, with a gorgeous view of a sloping field of black Angus cattle across the river and the Blue Ridge Mountains beyond. We got comfortable and established a daily routine.
I get up early, let Sadie Mae (Yorkie mix) out, have my 2 cups of coffee along with steel-cut oats and yogurt while watching GMA. We mostly wear those light-weight jogging pants and large tee-shirts. Lunch time finds me out on the sunporch with a huge salad. Then it's power nap time.
Tuesdays are Bible Study days, then it is on to Kroger's for 5% off for seniors, double coupons.
Sounds boring? Even with Weds nights' choir practice? Sunday's church?
But here I am, still in Maine, no car while Dick drives over to his elderly uncle's farm to split wood for him, daughter Cathie drives up to Ashland to help her fellow clear his land before winter hits, teens are in school or job-training...with grown grandkids visiting, we've had 8 of us here at a time, sharing bathrooms, doing laundry, snacking at odd times, watching Sadie Mae encounter cats, which has never happened to her before.
All my carefully constructed routine...gone! I DO love giving my daughter this time with her new fellow. After 10.5 years of widowhood, Jason is a blessing in her life. I'm having a good time getting to know my grandkids again; I was up here when they were born and watched them grow up; now, they are nearly adults. Nearly.
Cathie grins and says: Mom, you've got us eating together around the dining room table! We haven't done that in years. So this, then, is a good thing that's happening. Still, I feel un-tethered, somewhat lost without my routine.
Years ago, grandparents moved in with their adult children and grandchildren. But I miss my quiet times, my time alone. My car!
Ideally, I'd hoped my daughter would move down to the Rocky Mt area, but now that she has met this darling fellow, that seems unlikely. So I'll gather up my belongings and we'll drive home next week. Back to my friends, back to my routine. But full of lobstah!!!
OK, retirement is something a person...or two persons...can totally invent. I'd envisioned myself in just the setting we put together, above a river, on acres of wooded land, with a gorgeous view of a sloping field of black Angus cattle across the river and the Blue Ridge Mountains beyond. We got comfortable and established a daily routine.
I get up early, let Sadie Mae (Yorkie mix) out, have my 2 cups of coffee along with steel-cut oats and yogurt while watching GMA. We mostly wear those light-weight jogging pants and large tee-shirts. Lunch time finds me out on the sunporch with a huge salad. Then it's power nap time.
Tuesdays are Bible Study days, then it is on to Kroger's for 5% off for seniors, double coupons.
Sounds boring? Even with Weds nights' choir practice? Sunday's church?
But here I am, still in Maine, no car while Dick drives over to his elderly uncle's farm to split wood for him, daughter Cathie drives up to Ashland to help her fellow clear his land before winter hits, teens are in school or job-training...with grown grandkids visiting, we've had 8 of us here at a time, sharing bathrooms, doing laundry, snacking at odd times, watching Sadie Mae encounter cats, which has never happened to her before.
All my carefully constructed routine...gone! I DO love giving my daughter this time with her new fellow. After 10.5 years of widowhood, Jason is a blessing in her life. I'm having a good time getting to know my grandkids again; I was up here when they were born and watched them grow up; now, they are nearly adults. Nearly.
Cathie grins and says: Mom, you've got us eating together around the dining room table! We haven't done that in years. So this, then, is a good thing that's happening. Still, I feel un-tethered, somewhat lost without my routine.
Years ago, grandparents moved in with their adult children and grandchildren. But I miss my quiet times, my time alone. My car!
Ideally, I'd hoped my daughter would move down to the Rocky Mt area, but now that she has met this darling fellow, that seems unlikely. So I'll gather up my belongings and we'll drive home next week. Back to my friends, back to my routine. But full of lobstah!!!
posted by Marion | 10:58 AM
9 Comments:
I once read that a child's mind will make a developmental jump when their routine is changed drastically.
My oldest daughter traveled with my husband and I from Florida to Pennsylvania one year, four times. We were visiting my mother-in-law the first three times. On that fourth and final trip, we were attending her funeral. My daughter ranged from 6 months to 18 months old and I attribute those trips to her good grades now.
Maybe this can be true for adults and even grandparents. Do you feel smarter?
Your friends have missed you!
Your plants are still alive (except for some of the petunias). Even though the goldfish plant has lost its fish and some leaves, it's still going strong.
And it's actually RAINING here. Thanks for sending the rain! (Now if you could send some lobstah. . . )
I know exactly what you mean, Marion. When I go away for even a couple of days, even when I enjoy my time away, I feel so disoriented. I love the comfort of my routine--the familiar cadence and rhythm of my daily doings. :-)
amy, I hadn't heard that, but let's hope I'll get smarter! I always learn stuff from my daughter; we pass information back and forth and she plays loud music while we cook together and sip a little red wine. Her new friend Jason is adorable, so you can't imagine how happy I am for them both to find each other.
Becky...I just read online that we got 7-9 inches of rain there. Hope the Blackwater River is again a river instead of a dabnk mud puddle.
Thanks for coddling my goldfish plant. Root some starters for yourself; Cathie says they root well in plain water.
BRBC: Yes, that's exactly how it is. I am SO ready to go home next week to the familiar and quiet life.
Yea!!!!! You're coming home!!! I've missed you and all your stories.
I missed you too.
Your routine does not sound boring at all. It sounds lovely and exactly how retirement should be. You're a smart lady.
www.GreenerPastures--ACityGirlGoesCountry.blogspot.com
Two months! I was turned upside down after 3 weeks.
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